that's life, sometimes it hurts, but it's all we have

Do you know how many fucking times I've cried for you?
I don't understand how I can care this much, when you don't care at all.
When you left and walked away, what really hurt was how you made it look so easy, like I never meant anything to you. At all.
If you ignore me, I will ignore you. If you don't start the conversation, we won't talk. If you don't put in the effort, why should I? EVERYDAY, I fight back the urge to text you or talk to you, telling myself that if you wanted to talk to me, YOU WOULD. but you never did.

Those silly conversations we had, those nights where we stayed up late talking to each other. I miss them all, every one of them. All this time I was wasting, hoping you would come around. I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down.
Well, I stopped showing what I really feel even if you still mean the world to me..because I realized you’re not worth the fight anymore.
I really do believe everything happens for a reason. But sometimes, it's hard to figure out why some things happen the way they happen. I let go, I'm ready to take a move on
Just be happy, dear you~

Welcome 20!

Today was such a happy day with so many people.
Begun with a small surprise from Ajeng and Raisa at midnight (thanks for the goodtime and choco wallens); Ajreng and Rachma at afternoon (thanks for the klappertaart); and unexpected surprise from high school friends Mega, Gyan, Erica, Eno, Asti, Toni and Abi at evening (thanks for the blackforest), and the end at night i got a surprise from Melati and Marina (thanks for the donuts).

So many happy things returned this year. People yet come and go, but i never missed any attention, i'm not alone. Im surrounded by many people who really care abt me. Thanks for so many wishes, prayers, and greetings from my friendsss in real life and socmed... i love you so much. May everything that you all have wished for me, will be returned. Cheers